The Effects Of War And Peace On Foreign Aid Essay Example For Students

The Effects Of War And Peace On Foreign Aid Essay Since the 90’s, the Western governments have increased their interest in funding civil society in Africa to promote democratization. This discussion paper examines how arange of foreign donors, including Western Governments, multilateral agencies and Non-Governmental Organizations (NGO’s) have developed â€Å"civil society† in Ghana, South Africa and Uganda. Other important assistance comes from Civil Society Organizations (CSO’s) to assist in basic provisions for food health and shelters. The three countries discussed in this essay are viewed as models by the Western World since they are amongst the African nations that receive the most foreign aid. For example, in 1995 South Africa was the second largest African recipient of US aid after Egypt; Ghana was the seventh-largest recipient of US aid; and Uganda was the ninth-largest recipient in 1997. Uganda is Denmark’s top aid recipient worldwide and was the UK’s second-largest African aid recipient and Ghana was its fifth-largest African aid recipient in 1997. We will write a custom essay on The Effects Of War And Peace On Foreign Aid specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now The single most favored area of US civil society assistance is that of advocacy NGO’s, such as human rights groups and election monitoring organizations that seek to influence governmental policy on some specific set of issues. National organizations that receive the most support from donors include the following kinds of groups: women’s organizations, rights/legal aid groups, think tanks, development NGO forums, business associations, governance/democracy NGO’s, youth and student organizations, conflict resolution groups and professional media associations. They are mostly those concerned with supporting political liberalization, those concerned with promoting economic liberalization and those supporting the rights and political participation of particular socially excluded groups, such as rural women or the urban poor. Donors are not funding the popular sectors of society, but are strengthening a new African elite commited to the promotion of a limited form of democracy and structural-adjustment-type economic policies in partnership with the west. This raises two crucial questions: How important is this civil society in relation with political parties, religious movements or the military, and how effective can it be? The first types of donors are the ones that strengthen the position of the civil society in relation to the state. The World Bank has played an important role in a two day National Economic Forum in 1997, bringing together over 150 organizations and institutions. The second form of donors for civil society is through funding the programs and strengthening the capacity of individual organizations. Such support ranges from funding research, parliamentary lobbying, public education campaigns and conferences to training and paying an organization’s overheads. In South Africa, the Free Market Foundation received nearly 1$ million in 1997 from the United States for the promotion of economic policies in the South African parl iament and administration. In Ghana, USAID proposes to spend 6$ million over five years to build the local civil society organizations through training in organizational management and lobbying skills. The leading donor in aid to civil society worldwide is the United States. The United States is responsible for 85% of total civil society assistance and spent over 100$ million on civil society support in 1993 and 1994 alone, equivalent to one third of its political aid spending. Two important factors explain US dominance in this area. First is the place of democracy promotion within the international role of the United States. Second is the variation in emphasis amongst donors in their democracy promotion. The British Government promotes good government as one of its core objectives, yet much of its work is directed at public sector reform and enhanced competence of government. Sweden emphasizes human rights within its democracy assistance. In contrast, the United States emphasizes civil society. In addition to three direct governmental channels, a host of US NGO’s are involved in distributing government funds, the most important of which is the National Endowment for Democra cy (NED). Although the NED’s budget was only one tenth of USAID’s budget for democracy assistance, the NED is highly significant. â€Å"It is a focal point for democracy promotion activities around the world and the catalyst to a worldwide democratic movement activists, intellectuals and NED-type political foundations. In South Africa, the United States has played an important role since the 1980’s in shaping civil society. Between 1985 and 1993 it provided 338$ million in aid, all of it to NGO’s.

the boy who

the boy who MEI STRUCTURED MATHEMATICSMarking C3 Coursework10 tips to ensure that the right mark isawardedMEI Conference 2013 Marking C3 Coursework Page 2Marking C3 CourseworkC3 coursework is very prescriptive. Providing assessors follow the criteria carefully there is no problem with the assessment. However, there are difficulties for the External moderator.à ¢Ã‚€Â ¢ Errors are made in the marking à ¢Ã‚€Â ¢ Work is not checked but assumed to be correct. à ¢Ã‚€Â ¢ Credit is given for work that is not evident.It is not a question of "what is a good piece of coursework?" but "how can I ensure that I give an appropriate mark?" 1 Terminology This task is all about solving equations. Therefore, candidates should write equations. Persistent errors should be penalised in domain 5. Examples which should be penalised: I am going to solve the equation x3 à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 4x à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 1. I am going to solve the equation y = x3 à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 4x à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 1. I am going to solve the equation f(x) = x3 à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 4x à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 1. Correct terminology: I am going to solve the equation x3 à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 4x à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 1 = 0. Or I am going to solve the equation f(x) = 0 where f(x) = x3 à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 4x à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 1. 2 Illustrations All three methods require a graph and an illustration for both success and failure. A graph of the function is not an illustration of the method. Example I am going to solve the equation x3 à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 4x à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 1 = 0 Here is a graph of y = x3 à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 4x à ¢Ã‚ˆÂ’ 1.MEI Conference 2013 Marking C3 Coursework Page 3You can see from the graph that there is a root of the equation in the range [1,2] which I shall find. This is not enough - only the graph has been drawn.English: Fifteen figure accuracy in Excel

Chemistry Laboratory Safety Rules

Chemistry Laboratory Safety Rules Some rules are not made to be broken- especially in the chemistry lab. The following rules exist for your safety and should always be followed. Always Follow the Instructions ​Your instructor and lab manuals are your best resources when setting up. Always listen and read carefully. Dont start a lab until you know all of the steps, from start to finish. If you have questions about any part of a procedure, get the answer before starting. Do Not Pipette by Mouth - Ever​ You say, But its only water. Even if it is, how clean do you think that glassware really is? Using disposable pipettes? Lots of people only rinse them and put them back! Learn to use the pipette bulb or automated pipetter. Dont pipette by mouth at home, either. Gasoline and kerosene should be obvious, but people get hospitalized or die every year. You might be tempted to use your mouth to start the suction on a waterbed to drain it. Do you know what they put in some waterbed additives? Carbon-14. Mmmm...radiation. The lesson is that even seemingly harmless substances may be dangerous! Read the Chemical Safety Information ​​A Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS) should be available for every chemical you use in the  lab. Read  and follow the recommendations for safe use and disposal of every material. Dress Appropriately (For Chemistry Lab, Not Fashion or the Weather)​ No sandals, no clothes you love more than life, no contact lenses, and, to keep your legs safe, long pants are preferable to shorts or short skirts. Tie long hair back. Wear safety goggles and a lab coat. Even if you arent clumsy, someone else in the lab probably is. If you take even a few chemistry courses you will probably see people set themselves on fire, spill acid on themselves, others, or notes, splash themselves in the eye, etc. Dont be the bad example to others. Identify the Safety Equipment Learn your  safety equipment  and how to use it! Given that some people (possibly you) will need them, know the locations of the fire blanket, extinguishers, eyewash, and shower. Ask for equipment demonstrations! If the eyewash hasnt been used in a while, the discoloration of the water is usually sufficient to inspire the  use of safety glasses. Dont Taste or Sniff Chemicals For many chemicals, if you can smell them, you are exposing yourself to a dose that can harm you! If the safety information says that a chemical should only be used inside a fume hood, then dont use it anywhere else. This isnt cooking classdont taste your experiments! Dont Casually Dispose of Chemicals Some chemicals can be washed down the drain, while others require a different method of disposal. If a chemical can go in the sink, be sure to wash it away rather than risk an unexpected reaction between chemical leftovers later. Dont Eat or Drink in Lab Its tempting, but oh so dangerous. Just dont do it! Dont Play Mad Scientist Dont haphazardly mix chemicals! Pay attention to the order in which chemicals are to be added to each other and do not deviate from the instructions. Even chemicals that mix to produce seemingly safe products should be handled carefully. For example, hydrochloric acid and sodium hydroxide will give you salt water, but the reaction could break your glassware or splash the reactants onto you if you arent careful! Take Data During Lab ​​​Always record information during a lab and not after labon the assumption that it will be neater. Put data directly in your lab book rather than transcribing from another source (i.e.:  notebook or ​lab partner). There are lots of reasons for this, but the practical one is that it is much harder for the data to get lost in your lab book. For some experiments, it may be helpful to take data before  lab. Were not telling you to dry-lab or cheat, but being able to project likely data will help you catch bad lab procedure before you are three hours or so into a project. Know what to expect. You should always read the experiment in advance.

Strategic Marketing - Jot Company Case Study Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2500 words

Strategic Marketing - Jot Company - Case Study Example The number of toy companies that are in existence currently has meant that organizations have had to be creative in the way they approach this objective of expansion and one of the main activities that are involved in this agenda is marketing (Laermer & Simmons, 2007). Strategic marketing is an important part of the expansion plans of a company and requires conducting research and studies on the various issues that are affecting the company in relation to its activities and the nature of the industry (Kerin, 2012). This has to do with elements such as the direction that the industry is taking with regard to the current trends, the set up of connections and the established procedures that have taken over the last few years. By studying all these issues, a company is able to develop the most appropriate approach they can use in the achievement of their aim of growth of sales. Political Trends The political realm of the country has always been an influential factor in the operations of industries and the various companies involved. This means that their contributions in terms of their opinions and related policies that emerge from them have to be considered when a company is setting up its own policies and regulations that they will abide by (Kerin, 2012). One of the issues that can be highlighted in this area is the political landscape of the country because of the recent elections that have taken place. Elections often means the emergence of new individuals into the political arena and this usually comes with a change in the manner that factors such as the domestic and foreign markets are approached (Goldstein & Lee, 2005). This change will have an effect on the companies that are involved in these various markets and thus it is essential that an organization keep track of the happenings that take place during this period of time. The recent elections can be said to have affected the domestic and foreign markets in terms of a switch in concentration of the areas that are to be focused on (Kerin, 2012). The recent downturn in the economy has been a matter that the government has been trying to deal with and as a result many elected officials have focused on rejuvenating the domestic economy through the provision of new jobs and issuing of policies that assist in encouraging this. This has resulted in the officials urging companies to retain the various services and other job openings they are involved with within the country. In the case of Jot this has to do with the outsourcing of the manufacturing of their toys in a bid to create more employment opportunities

Confucianism - a Religion or a Philosophy Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Confucianism - a Religion or a Philosophy - Essay Example From an analysis of the text and a cursory review of Confucianism, it must be understood by the reader that there are ultimately only three alternatives which could be gleaned: the understanding that Confucianism represents a philosophy but not a religious one, the understanding that Confucianism represents a religious worldview first and foremost within a philosophical interpretation being secondary, and the understanding that Confucianism represents both a religious and an philosophical interpretation. Likewise, it is the belief of this author that the most appropriate interpretation of this particular situation is the first determinant listed above; with the third determinant also being a distant possibility. Seeking to understand such a question may seem as something of an exercise in futility due to the fact that Confucianism is not a widely practiced religion; however, seeking to define what specifically is and what specifically is not a religion is an important aspect of delin eating and defining the current world in which we live. The reason for choosing this first determinant as the most likely case in question is due to the fact that Confucian beliefs do not specify a belief or appreciation for any subset of gods that must be followed or appreciated in order for the individual to attain a degree of benefit, worship or salvation. Whereas other religions make specific claims with regards to what deities must be worshipped and extolled in order for a degree of personal benefit to be generated, Confucianism makes no such claims. Moreover, building upon this is the fact that Confucianism is syncretic; i.e. it builds upon other belief systems and faiths. This is something that few other belief systems can claim and not a single world religion is capable of boasting. This fact, perhaps beyond any of the others which will be discussed, helps to set Confucianism apart and differentiate this as an philosophyal interpretation of the world rather than a strictly r eligious one. Naturally, although the foregoing definition is sound, the fact remains that Confucianism retains key elements of religious dogma with regards to the means by which individuals should integrate with one another and the world around them. Due to the fact that the writings and belief system of Confucianism are concerned primarily with philosophyal and moral interpretations, it is easy to understand why many of the individuals that have researched this particular world view have come to the understanding that philosophyal world view and interpretations of right conduct is a handle that more appropriately defines Confucianism as compared to the blanket and somewhat incorrect handle of religion (Smith 186). Yet, regardless of the interpretation of Confucianism that is made, the fact remains that it retains many of the aspects of a religion so it is also understandable why so many individuals have referred to it as a religion; replete with a holy set of writings/proverbs, a prophet, and a base line of standards and beliefs that are passed down from one generation to the next; from one believer to the next. As such, it is the view of this author that Confucianism is in fact a verifiable â€Å"religion† as it exhorts a set of followers to act and behave in a certain way as a result of constraining and/or defining their lives based upon a certain set of teachings and principles. In such a manner, the definition of religion might not perfectly meld with the fact that Confucianism does not have a â€Å"god† or a particular clergy or any other such hallmarks of other well known religions, it meets

Martin Luther King Memorial in Yerba Buena Gardens Essay Example for Free

Martin Luther King Memorial in Yerba Buena Gardens Essay Situated on the corner of 4th St. and Mission St., in downtown San Francisco is Yerba Buena Gardens. Sounds from the hustle and bustle of cars driving and people walking permeate Yerba Buena Gardens, except in one particular location. In one corner of the gardens stands a Martin Luther King Jr. memorial. The memorial is breathtakingly beautiful with a fifty foot high and twenty foot wide waterfall that falls over Sierra granite. In the Memorial’s hallway, visitors read quotes from Dr. King himself that are engraved on glass panels and set in granite. The physical beauty of the memorial is undeniable, however many people are not aware of the symbolism lying beneath the memorial’s surface. The memorial’s waterfall symbolizes the realization of Dr. King’s dreams the realization of Dr. Kings dream, the tears shed by millions and of the voices of African Americas The memorial also reminds us of the oppressed African Americans whose voices were drowned out ignored; yet, it is apparent that society was pushed backwards in the race to equality with the mandatory evacuation of thousands of people due to the development of the Yerba Buena Gardens. King Jr. dreamt that all human beings, regardless of skin color, will one day be able to live in a completely free, just, and non-discriminatory society. It was his dream of an equal society that pushed Martin Luther King Jr. to become an advocate for universal suffrage. Even though the United States already had universal suffrage, unfair literacy tests and poll taxes plagued the voting process and disqualified nearly all impoverished African Americans from voting 1. King wanted a colorblind society; a society where all human beings are treated equally and respectfully and given the same personal liberties and political freedom. Martin Luther King argued, in his â€Å"I Have a Dream† speech, that â€Å"we are not satisfied until justice rolls down like water and righteousness like a mighty stream† 2. This quote from Dr. King’s speech is inscribed on the right end wall of the memorial. After reading the final inscribed quote, it is apparent that the purpose of the waterfall is to signify the realization of Martin Luther King’s dream of a just society. Justice , The United States Martin Luther King’s dream of justice in today’s society; a monumental victory of justice over prejudice. It is so easy to forget about what it took for America to become a truly free and nondiscriminatory nation. The mists are a necessary reminder for people in today’s society that personal liberty and political freedom should never be taken for granted. Though Yerba Buena Gardens is situated in downtown San Francisco, a busy city filled with loud noises, the memorial itself is peculiarly quiet and calm. The memorial’s serenity is due to the overpowering, yet surprisingly tranquil sound of the rushing water from the waterfall. The power of the waterfall to drown out all exterior noise is phenomenal. It is impossible to even hear what someone is saying when they are right next to you. Visitors try to overcome the sound of the rushing water by screaming or whistling, but are unsuccessful. Independent from life’s distractions, visitors are given the opportunity to absorb all that the memorial and Dr. King’s words have to offer. Visitors can take this time to self-reflect and to appreciate the efforts of earlier generations fighting for equality during our nation’s infancy. The undeniable strength of the waterfall’s sound to obscure all external noise makes Being incapable of expressing feelings or thou ghts leaves an unfamiliar and dreadful sensation. People living in today’s society are usually ignorant to this unfamiliar, almost claustrophobic feeling of screaming at the top of your lungs without a single person acknowledging your frustrations. During our nation’s history, however, nearly all African Americans struggled with this same frustration. Helpless against the white minority, blacks throughout history struggled to get their concerns addressed and their votes counted. The visitor’s inability to communicate vocally is short-lived and fortunately, only lasts as long as it takes for the person to walk through the memorial. African Americans, however, were plagued with powerlessness for hundreds of years. Martin Luther King Jr. felt obliged to provide a voice for all African Americans stripped of the right to do so on their own. Due to the hard work of Martin Luther King, civil rights leaders and activists, and President Johnson, on August 6, 1965 the Voting Rights Act was signed into law, which banned the use of literacy tests and also required stricter monitoring of the use of poll taxes in state and local elections† 3. Finally, the time had come when African Americans could voice their opinions and have them be heard, and vote for the political constituent whom carried similar beliefs and morals. The development of the Yerba Buena Gardens, as part of the â€Å"Urban Renewal Project† was not always considered to be something positive and beneficial. During the 1950’s, city planners forced thousands of people living in the South of Market area out of their homes, arguing that the area was â€Å"dangerous ‘Skid Row’ ripe for redevelopment, populated by â€Å"bums† and â€Å"transients† whose fate mattered little† 4. City planners left out the important fact that many people who lived in this area were elderly and poor and had â€Å"little defense against the federal bulldozer† 5. The city did try and relocate as many people as possible, but only had 276 units of new housing to replace thousands of demolished units. Thousands were left homeless and kicked out of possibly the only home they have ever known and will ever know, due to lack of job skills needed to find employment. The irony of placing a Martin Luther King Jr. memorial, a man who advocated for equality and justice until his assassination, on land where thousands of impoverished people were evicted just a couple years earli er, is almost too horrific to comprehend. The hypocrisy in the decision to place this memorial at the Yerba Buena Gardens is undeniable and unforgiveable. The memorial’s waterfall is a reminder of the relentless adversity that plagued millions of blacks for thousands of years and the tears they shed. The waterfall also symbolizes the realization of Dr. King’s dream. The eviction methods used during the Urban Renewal period to obtain the land where the memorial sits were ethically questionable, however it is still important to visit this monument from time to time. The memorial stands there in the middle of Yerba Buena Gardens, in the middle of downtown San Francisco, as a silent, yet constant reminder to never take anything for granted and to always remember the blood, sweat, and tears shed by millions in order for people today to enjoy and exercise the complete personal liberty and political freedom that we are so fortunately blessed with.

John Steinbeck :: essays research papers

John Steinbeck was born in February 27, 1902 in Salinas, California. Salinas was an agricultural valley in California. His father was the county treasurer and his mother was a schoolteacher. This is where his education began from a mother that encouraged him to read. The community was a comfortable environment for him to live in because of the encouragement of independence and initiative. His parents didn’t want him to be a writer. They wanted him to have a true profession as a lawyer. His early interest in reading led him through school, with his main interest in science. At age 15 he decided to become a writer, influenced by an English teacher, and faintly remembered by schoolmates for spending so much time in his room writing. After graduating from high school, he went to Stanford University in 1920. While he was there for five he contributed to the school paper by writing poems and comics. He took courses in science and writing, but never received a degree. In 1925, when h e left Stanford, he became a marine biologist. He moved to New York in 1925 to work as a reporter for a newspaper. Always being a non-conformist, he was fired from the newspaper for writing opinions instead of facts. This started the many jobs he would be a part of in his lifetime. Some of these jobs include an apprentice hod carrier, an apprentice printer, a working chemist, caretaker of Lake Tahoe Estate, surveyor in Big Sur County, and a fruit picker. He also worked other more physically labored jobs, such as a rancher, road worker, deck hand, cotton picker, and bricklayer. While involved in these jobs, he made many close friends that he came to admire because of their "cant and hypocrisy" which he applauded and whom all of these people soon were characters in his novels. Many of these experiences were the "helpers" to his many novels. His fruit picking and Great Depression led him to write The Grapes of Wrath, his best known and most ambitious of his works. A lso, he wrote Of Mice and Men, which was formed from his job as a hired hand on the many farms he worked. Many things affected his writing of the time period of which he wrote. Things like the Great Depression, World War 2, and the Vietnam War are the major influences. World War 2 was when he was working for the federal government as a writer, so his works focused on greed and materialism in the beings of modern civilization, Cannery Row and The Wayward Bus are two good examples of this idea.

Formal and Non Formal Education

CHAPTER 2 Page 28 4. |City |Frequency |Relative |Or Relative Frequency | | | |Frequency |(%) | |Indianapolis |100 |0. 050 |5. 0 | |St. Louis |450 |0. 225 |22. 5 | |Chicago |1300 |0. 650 |65. 0 | |Milwaukee |150 |0. 075 |7. 5 | |Total |2000 |1. 000 |100. | 5. a. A frequency table. b. [pic] c. |Â   |Frequencies |Relative Frequencies (%) | |White |130 |10. 0 | |Black |104 |8. 0 | |Lime |325 |25. 0 | |Orange |455 |35. 0 | |Red |296 |22. 0 | |Total |1300 |Â  100. | [pic] d. 350,000 orange; 250,000 lime; 220,000 red; 100,000 white, and 80,000 black, found by multiplying relative frequency by 1,000,000 production. Page 35 10. a. 25 = 32, 26 = 64 > 53 suggests 6 classes. b. [pic]Use interval of 15 and start first class at 40. 12. a. 24 = 16, 25 = 32 > n = 20, suggest 5 classes b. [pic]Use interval of 10. c. 50 d. fRelative frequency 50 up to 6040. 20 60 up to 7050. 25 70 up to 8060. 30 80 up to 9020. 10 90 up to 10030. 15 Total201. 00 e. The fewest number is about 50, the highest about 100 .The greatest concentration is in classes 60 up to 70 and 70 up to 80. Page 41 15. The following table is for 7th edition part (b) only |Class |Mid Points x |Frequency |cum. Freq |Relative |fx | | | | | |Frequencies | | |0 – 5 |2. 5 |5 |5 |0. 05 |12. 5 | |5-10 |7. 5 |13 |18 |0. 13 |97. | |10-15 |12. 5 |28 |46 |0. 28 |350. 0 | |15-20 |17. 5 |23 |69 |0. 23 |402. 5 | | 20-25 |22. 5 |18 |87 |0. 18 |405. 0 | |25-30 |27. 5 |10 |97 |0. 1 |275. 0 | |30-35 |32. 5 |3 |100 |0. 3 |97. 5 | |Â   |Total |100 |Â   |1. 00 |1640. 0 | a. Histogram b. 100 (8th edition) c. 5 d. 28 e. 0. 28 f. 12. 5 g. 13 16. a. 3 b. about 26 or 27 c. 2 d. frequency polygon 17. a. 50 b. 1. 5 thousands of miles c. d. X = 1. 5, Y = 5 e. [pic] f. For the 50 employees about half earn between 6 and 9 thousand frequent flier miles. Five earn less than 3 thousand frequent flier miles, and two earn more than 12 thousand frequent flier miles. Page 45 20. a. 200 b. b. about 50 or $50,000 . c. about $180,000 d. about $240, 000 e. about = 110 – 50 or 60 homes f. about 130 homes 22. a. Les than 10 days = 6 + 7 = 13 Less than 15 days = 6 + 7 + 12 = 25 b. Lead TimefCF 0 up to 566 5 up to 10713 10 up to 151225 15 up to 20833 20 up to 25740 c. d. 14 CHAPTER EXERCISES Page 46 26. a. The scale is ordinal and the variable is qualitative. b. |Performance |Frequency | |Early |22 | |On-time |67 | |Late |9 | |Lost |2 | . |Performance |Relative Frequency | |Early |. 22 | |On-time |. 67 | |Late |. 09 | |Lost |. 02 | d. [pic] e. [pic] f. 89% of the packages are either early or on-time and 2% of the packages are lost. So they are missing both of their objectives. They must eliminate all lost packages and reduce the late percentage to below 1%. ———————– [pic]

The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 23. MONSTER

WHEN I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING, IT WAS VERY bright – even inside the tent, the sunlight hurt my eyes. And I was sweating, as Jacob had predicted. Jacob was snoring lightly in my ear, his arms still wrapped around me. I pulled my head away from his feverishly warm chest and felt the sting of the cold morning on my clammy cheek. Jacob sighed in his sleep; his arms tightened unconsciously. I squirmed, unable to loosen his hold, struggling to lift my head enough to see. . . . Edward met my gaze evenly. His expression was calm, but the pain in his eyes was unconcealed. â€Å"Is it any warmer out there?† I whispered. â€Å"Yes. I don't think the space heater will be necessary today.† I tried to get to the zipper, but I couldn't free my arms. I strained, fighting against Jacob's inert strength. Jacob muttered, still fast asleep, his arms constricting again. â€Å"Some help?† I asked quietly. Edward smiled. â€Å"Did you want me to take his arms all the way off?† â€Å"No, thank you. Just get me free. I'm going to get heat stroke.† Edward unzipped the sleeping bag in a swift, abrupt movement. Jacob fell out, his bare back hitting the icy floor of the tent. â€Å"Hey!† he complained, his eyes flying open. Instinctively, he flinched away from the cold, rolling onto me. I gasped as his weight knocked the breath out of me. And then his weight was gone. I felt the impact as Jacob flew into one of the tent poles and the tent shuddered. The growling erupted from all around. Edward was crouching in front of me, and I couldn't see his face, but the snarls were ripping angrily out of his chest. Jacob was half-crouched, too, his whole body quivering, while growls rumbled through his clenched teeth. Outside the tent, Seth Clearwater's vicious snarls echoed off the rocks. â€Å"Stop it, stop it!† I yelled, scrambling awkwardly to put myself between them. The space was so small that I didn't have to stretch far to put one hand on each of their chests. Edward wrapped his hand around my waist, ready to yank me out of the way. â€Å"Stop it, now,† I warned him. Under my touch, Jacob began to calm himself. The shaking slowed, but his teeth were still bared, his eyes furiously focused on Edward. Seth continued to growl, a long unbroken sound, a violent background to the sudden silence in the tent. â€Å"Jacob?† I asked, waiting until he finally dropped his glare to look at me. â€Å"Are you hurt?† â€Å"Of course not!† he hissed. I turned to Edward. He was looking at me, his expression hard and angry. â€Å"That wasn't nice. You should say sorry.† His eyes widened in disgust. â€Å"You must be joking – he was crushing you!† â€Å"Because you dumped him on the floor! He didn't do it on purpose, and he didn't hurt me.† Edward groaned, revolted. Slowly, he looked up to glare at Jacob with hostile eyes. â€Å"My apologies, dog.† â€Å"No harm done,† Jacob said, a taunting edge to his voice. It was still cold, though not as cold as it had been. I curled my arms around my chest. â€Å"Here,† Edward said, calm again. He took the parka off the floor and wrapped it over the top of my coat. â€Å"That's Jacob's,† I objected. â€Å"Jacob has a fur coat,† Edward hinted. â€Å"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind.† Jacob ignored him, climbing around us and sliding into the down bag. â€Å"I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had.† â€Å"It was your idea,† Edward said impassively. Jacob was curled up, his eyes already closed. He yawned. â€Å"I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up.† I winced, wondering what might have come out of my mouth in my sleep. The possibilities were horrifying. â€Å"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself,† Edward murmured. Jacob's dark eyes fluttered open. â€Å"Didn't you have a nice night, then?† he asked, smug. â€Å"It wasn't the worst night of my life.† â€Å"Did it make the top ten?† Jacob asked with perverse enjoyment. â€Å"Possibly.† Jacob smiled and closed his eyes. â€Å"But,† Edward went on, â€Å"if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that.† Jacob's eyes opened into a glare. He sat up stiffly, his shoulders tense. â€Å"You know what? I think it's too crowded in here.† â€Å"I couldn't agree more.† I elbowed Edward in the ribs – probably giving myself a bruise. â€Å"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then.† Jacob made a face. â€Å"I need to talk to Sam anyway.† He rolled to his knees and grabbed the door's zipper. Pain crackled down my spine and lodged in my stomach as I abruptly realized that this could be the last time I would see him. He was going back to Sam, back to fight the horde of bloodthirsty newborn vampires. â€Å"Jake, wait -† I reached after him, my hand sliding down his arm. He jerked his arm away before my fingers could find purchase. â€Å"Please, Jake? Won't you stay?† â€Å"No.† The word was hard and cold. I knew my face gave away my pain, because he exhaled and half a smile softened his expression. â€Å"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am.† He forced a laugh. â€Å"‘Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place – have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right.† He snorted. â€Å"Be careful -â€Å" He shoved out of the tent before I could finish. â€Å"Give it a rest, Bella,† I heard him mutter as he re-zipped the door. I listened for the sound of his retreating footsteps, but it was perfectly still. No more wind. I could hear morning birdsong far away on the mountain, and nothing else. Jacob moved in silence now. I huddled in my coats, and leaned against Edward's shoulder. We were quiet for a long time. â€Å"How much longer?† I asked. â€Å"Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so,† Edward said, soft and bleak. â€Å"We stay together. No matter what.† â€Å"No matter what,† he agreed, his eyes tight. â€Å"I know,† I said. â€Å"I'm terrified for them, too.† â€Å"They know how to handle themselves,† Edward assured me, purposely making his voice light. â€Å"I just hate missing the fun.† Again with the fun. My nostrils flared. He put his arm around my shoulder. â€Å"Don't worry,† he urged, and then he kissed my forehead. As if there was any way to avoid that. â€Å"Sure, sure.† â€Å"Do you want me to distract you?† He breathed, running his cold fingers along my cheekbone. I shivered involuntarily; the morning was still frosty. â€Å"Maybe not right now,† he answered himself, pulling his hand away. â€Å"There are other ways to distract me.† â€Å"What would you like?† â€Å"You could tell me about your ten best nights,† I suggested. â€Å"I'm curious.† He laughed. â€Å"Try to guess.† I shook my head. â€Å"There're too many nights I don't know about. A century of them.† â€Å"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you.† â€Å"Really?† â€Å"Yes, really – and by quite a wide margin, too.† I thought for a minute. â€Å"I can only think of mine,† I admitted. â€Å"They might be the same,† he encouraged. â€Å"Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed.† â€Å"Yes, that's one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part.† â€Å"That's right,† I remembered. â€Å"I was talking that night, too.† â€Å"Yes,† he agreed. My face got hot as I wondered again what I might have said while sleeping in Jacob's arms. I couldn't remember what I'd dreamed about, or if I'd dreamed at all, so that was no help. â€Å"What did I say last night?† I whispered more quietly than before. He shrugged instead of answering, and I winced. â€Å"That bad?† â€Å"Nothing too horrible,† he sighed. â€Å"Please tell me.† â€Å"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual.† â€Å"That's not bad,† I agreed cautiously. â€Å"Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about ‘Jacob, my Jacob.'† I could hear the pain, even in the whisper. â€Å"Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot.† I stretched my neck up, straining to reach my lips to the edge of his jaw. I couldn't see into his eyes. He was staring up at the ceiling of the tent. â€Å"Sorry,† I murmured. â€Å"That's just the way I differentiate.† â€Å"Differentiate?† â€Å"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me,† I explained. â€Å"That makes sense.† He sounded slightly mollified. â€Å"Tell me another favorite night.† â€Å"Flying home from Italy.† He frowned. â€Å"Is that not one of yours?† I wondered. â€Å"No, it is one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?† â€Å"Yes.† I smiled. â€Å"But, still, you were there.† He kissed my hair. â€Å"You love me more than I deserve.† I laughed at the impossibility of that idea. â€Å"Next would be the night after Italy,† I continued. â€Å"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny.† â€Å"Funny?† I objected. â€Å"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake.† â€Å"I'm still not sure,† I muttered. â€Å"You've always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?† â€Å"No – that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me.† I made a face. â€Å"That doesn't make your list?† I thought about the way he'd kissed me, the concession I'd gained, and changed my mind. â€Å"Yes . . . it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever.† â€Å"A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you.† â€Å"I'll remind you to explain – in a hundred years.† â€Å"Are you warm enough?† he asked suddenly. â€Å"I'm fine,† I assured him. â€Å"Why?† Before he could answer, the silence outside the tent was ripped apart by an earsplitting howl of pain. The sound ricocheted off the bare rock face of the mountain and filled the air so that it seared from every direction. The howl tore through my mind like a tornado, both strange and familiar. Strange because I'd never heard such a tortured cry before. Familiar because I knew the voice at once – I recognized the sound and understood the meaning as perfectly as if I'd uttered it myself. It made no difference that Jacob was not human when he cried out. I needed no translation. Jacob was close. Jacob had heard every word we'd said. Jacob was in agony. The howl choked off into a peculiar gurgled sob, and then it was quiet again. I did not hear his silent escape, but I could feel it – I could feel the absence I had wrongly assumed before, the empty space he left behind. â€Å"Because your space heater has reached his limit,† Edward answered quietly. â€Å"Truce over,† he added, so low I couldn't be sure that was really what he'd said. â€Å"Jacob was listening,† I whispered. It wasn't a question. â€Å"Yes.† â€Å"You knew.† â€Å"Yes.† I stared at nothing, seeing nothing. â€Å"I never promised to fight fair,† he reminded me quietly. â€Å"And he deserves to know.† My head fell into my hands. â€Å"Are you angry with me?† he asked. â€Å"Not you,† I whispered. â€Å"I'm horrified at me.† â€Å"Don't torment yourself,† he pleaded. â€Å"Yes,† I agreed bitterly. â€Å"I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn't want to leave any part of him unharmed.† â€Å"He knew what he was doing.† â€Å"Do you think that matters?† I was blinking back tears, and this was easy to hear in my voice. â€Å"Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'm hurting him. Every time I turn around, I'm hurting him again.† My voice was getting louder, more hysterical. â€Å"I'm a hideous person.† He wrapped his arms tightly around me. â€Å"No, you're not.† â€Å"I am! What's wrong with me?† I struggled against his arms, and he let them drop. â€Å"I have to go find him.† â€Å"Bella, he's already miles away, and it's cold.† â€Å"I don't care. I can't just sit here.† I shrugged off Jacob's parka, shoved my feet into my boots, and crawled stiffly to the door; my legs felt numb. â€Å"I have to – I have to . . .† I didn't know how to finishthe sentence, didn't know what there was to do, but I unzipped the door anyway, and climbed out into the bright, icy morning. There was less snow than I would have thought after the fury of last night's storm. Probably it had blown away rather than melted in the sun that now shone low in the southeast, glancing off the snow that lingered and stabbing at my unadjusted eyes. The air still had a bite to it, but it was dead calm and slowly becoming more seasonable as the sun rose higher. Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head on his paws. His sand-colored fur was almost invisible against the dead needles, but I could see the bright snow reflect off his open eyes. He was staring at me with what I imagined was an accusation. I knew Edward was following me as I stumbled toward the trees. I couldn't hear him, but the sun reflected off his skin in glittering rainbows that danced ahead of me. He didn't reach out to stop me until I was several paces into the forest shadows. His hand caught my left wrist. He ignored it when I tried to yank myself free. â€Å"You can't go after him. Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help anyone, regardless.† I twisted my wrist, pulling uselessly. â€Å"I'm sorry, Bella,† he whispered. â€Å"I'm sorry I did that.† â€Å"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have . . . When he . . . I shouldn't have . . . I . . . I . . .† I was sobbing. â€Å"Bella, Bella.† His arms folded around me, and my tears soaked into his shirt. â€Å"I should have – told him – I should – have said -† What? What could have made this right? â€Å"He shouldn't have – found out like this.† â€Å"Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time,† Edward murmured, hushed agony in his voice. I nodded into his chest, afraid to see his face. â€Å"Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon.† His arms disappeared. He left so quickly that, in the second it took me to look up, he was already gone. I was alone. A new sob broke from my chest. I was hurting everyone today. Was there anything I touched that didn't get spoiled? I didn't know why it was hitting me so hard now. It wasn't like I hadn't known this was coming all along. But Jacob had never reacted so strongly – lost his bold overconfidence and shown the intensity of his pain. The sound of his agony still cut at me, somewhere deep in my chest. Right beside it was the other pain. Pain for feeling pain over Jacob. Pain for hurting Edward, too. For not being able to watch Jacob go with composure, knowing that it was the right thing, the only way. I was selfish, I was hurtful. I tortured the ones I loved. I was like Cathy, like Wuthering Heights, only my options were so much better than hers, neither one evil, neither one weak. And here I sat, crying about it, not doing anything productive to make it right. Just like Cathy. I couldn't allow what hurt me to influence my decisions anymore. It was too little, much too late, but I had to do what was right now. Maybe it was already done for me. Maybe Edward would not be able to bring him back. And then I would accept that and get on with my life. Edward would never see me shed another tear for Jacob Black. There would be no more tears. I wiped the last of them away with cold fingers now. But if Edward did return with Jacob, that was it. I had to tell him to go away and never come back. Why was that so hard? So very much more difficult than saying goodbye to my other friends, to Angela, to Mike? Why did that hurt? It wasn't right. That shouldn't be able to hurt me. I had what I wanted. I couldn't have them both, because Jacob could not be just my friend. It was time to give up wishing for that. How ridiculously greedy could any one person be? I had to get over this irrational feeling that Jacob belonged in my life. He couldn't belong with me, could not be my Jacob, when I belonged to someone else. I walked slowly back to the little clearing, my feet dragging. When I broke into the open space, blinking against the sharp light, I threw one quick glance toward Seth – he hadn't moved from his bed of pine needles – and then looked away, avoiding his eyes. I could feel that my hair was wild, twisted into clumps like Medusa's snakes. I yanked through it with my fingers, and then gave up quickly. Who cared what I looked like, anyway? I grabbed the canteen hanging beside the tent door and shook it. It sloshed wetly, so I unscrewed the lid and took a swig to rinse my mouth with the ice water. There was food somewhere nearby, but I didn't feel hungry enough to look for it. I started pacing across the bright little space, feeling Seth's eyes on me the whole time. Because I wouldn't look at him, in my head he became the boy again, rather than the gigantic wolf. So much like a younger Jacob. I wanted to ask Seth to bark or give some other sign if Jacob was coming back, but I stopped myself. It didn't matter if Jacob came back. It might be easier if he didn't. I wished I had some way to call Edward. Seth whined at that moment, and got to his feet. â€Å"What is it?† I asked him stupidly. He ignored me, trotting to the edge of the trees, and pointing his nose toward the west. He began whimpering. â€Å"Is it the others, Seth?† I demanded. â€Å"In the clearing?† He looked at me and yelped softly once, and then turned his nose alertly back to the west. His ears laid back and he whined again. Why was I such a fool? What was I thinking, sending Edward away? How was I supposed to know what was going on? I didn't speak wolf. A cold trickle of fear began to ooze down my spine. What if the time had run out? What if Jacob and Edward got too close? What if Edward decided to join in the fight? The icy fear pooled inmy stomach. What if Seth's distress had nothing to do with the clearing, and his yelp had been a denial? What if Jacob and Edward were fighting with each other, far away somewhere in the forest? They wouldn't do that, would they? With sudden, chilling certainty I realized that they would – if the wrong words were said. I thought of the tense standoff in the tent this morning, and I wondered if I'd underestimated how close it had come to a fight. It would be no more than I deserved if I somehow lost them both. The ice locked around my heart. Before I could collapse with fear, Seth grumbled slightly, deep in his chest, and then turned away from his watch and sauntered back toward his resting place. It calmed me, but irritated me. Couldn't he scratch a message in the dirt or something? The pacing was starting to make me sweat under all my layers. I threw my jacket into the tent, and then I went back to wearing a path across the center of the tiny break in the trees. Seth jumped to his feet again suddenly, the hackles on the back of his neck standing up stiffly. I looked around, but saw nothing. If Seth didn't cut it out, I was going to throw a pinecone at him. He growled, a low warning sound, slinking back toward the western rim, and I rethought my impatience. â€Å"It's just us, Seth,† Jacob called from a distance. I tried to explain to myself why my heart kicked into fourth gear when I heard him. It was just fear of what I was going to have to do now, that was all. I could not allow myself to be relieved that he'd come back. That would be the opposite of helpful. Edward walked into view first, his face blank and smooth. When he stepped out from the shadows, the sun shimmered on his skin like it did on the snow. Seth went to greet him, looking intently into his eyes. Edward nodded slowly, and worry creased his forehead. â€Å"Yes, that's all we need,† he muttered to himself before addressing the big wolf. â€Å"I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule down better.† Seth dipped his head once, and I wished I was able to growl. Sure, he could nod now. I turned my head, annoyed, and realized that Jacob was there. He had his back to me, facing the way he'd come. I waited warily for him to turn around. â€Å"Bella,† Edward murmured, suddenly right beside me. He stared down at me with nothing but concern showing in his eyes. There was no end to his generosity. I deserved him now less than I ever had. â€Å"There's a bit of a complication,† he told me, his voice carefully unworried. â€Å"I'm going to take Seth a little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen, either. I know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go.† Only at the very end did the pain break into his voice. I had to never hurt him again. That would be my mission in life. Never again would I be the reason for this look to come into his eyes. I was too upset to even ask him what the new problem was. I didn't need anything else right now. â€Å"Hurry back,† I whispered. He kissed me lightly on the lips, and then disappeared into the forest with Seth at his side. Jacob was still in the shadow of the trees; I couldn't see his expression clearly. â€Å"I'm in a hurry, Bella,† he said in a dull voice. â€Å"Why don't you get it over with?† I swallowed, my throat suddenly so dry I wasn't sure if I could make sound come out. â€Å"Just say the words, and be done with it.† I took a deep breath. â€Å"I'm sorry I'm such a rotten person,† I whispered. â€Å"I'm sorry I've been so selfish. I wish I'd never met you, so I couldn't hurt you the way I have. I won't do it anymore, I promise. I'll stay far away from you. I'll move out of the state. You won't have to look at me ever again.† â€Å"That's not much of an apology,† he said bitterly. I couldn't make my voice louder than a whisper. â€Å"Tell me how to do it right.† â€Å"What if I don't want you to go away? What if I'd rather you stayed, selfish or not? Don't I get any say, if you're trying to make things up to me?† â€Å"That won't help anything, Jake. It was wrong to stay with you when we wanted such different things. It's not going to get better. I'll just keep hurting you. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate it.† My voice broke. He sighed. â€Å"Stop. You don't have to say anything else. I understand.† I wanted to tell him how much I would miss him, but I bit my tongue. That would not help anything, either. He stood quietly for a moment, staring at the ground, and I fought against the urge to go and put my arms around him. To comfort him. And then his head snapped up. â€Å"Well, you're not the only one capable of self-sacrifice,† he said, his voice stronger. â€Å"Two can play at that game.† â€Å"What?† â€Å"I've behaved pretty badly myself. I've made this much harder for you than I needed to. I could have given up with good grace in the beginning. But I hurt you, too.† â€Å"This is my fault.† â€Å"I won't let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory either. I know how to redeem myself.† â€Å"What are you talking about?† I demanded. The sudden, frenzied light in his eyes frightened me. He glanced up at the sun and then smiled at me. â€Å"There's a pretty serious fight brewing down there. I don't think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture.† His words sank into my brain, slowly, one by one, and I couldn't breathe. Despite all my intentions to cut Jacob out of mylife completely, I didn't realize until that precise second exactly how deep the knife would have to go to do it. â€Å"Oh, no, Jake! No, no no no,† I choked out in horror. â€Å"No, Jake, no. Please, no.† My knees began to tremble. â€Å"What's the difference, Bella? This will only make it more convenient for everyone. You won't even have to move.† â€Å"No!† My voice got louder. â€Å"No, Jacob! I won't let you!† â€Å"How will you stop me?† he taunted lightly, smiling to take the sting out of his tone. â€Å"Jacob, I'm begging you. Stay with me.† I would have fallen to my knees, if I could have moved at all. â€Å"For fifteen minutes while I miss a good brawl? So that you can run away from me as soon as you think I'm safe again? You've got to be kidding.† â€Å"I won't run away. I've changed my mind. We'll work something out, Jacob. There's always a compromise. Don't go!† â€Å"You're lying.† â€Å"I'm not. You know what a terrible liar I am. Look in my eyes. I'll stay if you do.† His face hardened. â€Å"And I can be your best man at the wedding?† It was a moment before I could speak, and still the only answer I could give him was, â€Å"Please.† â€Å"That's what I thought,† he said, his face going calm again, but for the turbulent light in his eyes. â€Å"I love you, Bella,† he murmured. â€Å"I love you, Jacob,† I whispered brokenly. He smiled. â€Å"I know that better than you do.† He turned to walk away. â€Å"Anything,† I called after him in a strangled voice. â€Å"Anything you want, Jacob. Just don't do this!† He paused, turning slowly. â€Å"I don't really think you mean that.† â€Å"Stay,† I begged. He shook his head. â€Å"No, I'm going.† He paused, as if deciding something. â€Å"But I could leave it to fate.† â€Å"What do you mean?† I choked out. â€Å"I don't have to do anything deliberate – I could just do my best for my pack and let what happens happen.† He shrugged. â€Å"If you could convince me you really did want me to come back – more than you wanted to do the selfless thing.† â€Å"How?† I asked. â€Å"You could ask me,† he suggested. â€Å"Come back,† I whispered. How could he doubt that I meant it? He shook his head, smiling again. â€Å"That's not what I'm talking about.† It took me a second to grasp what he was saying, and all the while he was looking at me with this superior expression – so sure of my reaction. As soon as the realization hit, though, I blurted out the words without stopping to count the cost. â€Å"Will you kiss me, Jacob?† His eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed suspiciously. â€Å"You're bluffing.† â€Å"Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back.† He hesitated in the shadow, warring with himself. He half-turned again to the west, his torso twisting away from me while his feet stayed planted where they were. Still looking away, he took one uncertain step in my direction, and then another. He swung his face around to look at me, his eyes doubtful. I stared back. I had no idea what expression was on my face. Jacob rocked back on his heels, and then lurched forward, closing the distance between us in three long strides. I knew he would take advantage of the situation. I expected it. I held very still – my eyes closed, my fingers curled into fists at my sides – as his hands caught my face and his lips found mine with an eagerness that was not far from violence. I could feel his anger as his mouth discovered my passive resistance. One hand moved to the nape of my neck, twisting into a fist around the roots of my hair. The other hand grabbed roughly at my shoulder, shaking me, then dragging me to him. His hand continued down my arm, finding my wrist and pulling my arm up around his neck. I left it there, my hand still tightly balled up, unsure how far I could go in my desperation to keep him alive. All the while his lips, disconcertingly soft and warm, tried to force a response out of mine. As soon as he was sure I wouldn't drop my arm, he freed my wrist, his hand feeling its way down to my waist. His burning hand found the skin at the small of my back, and he yanked me forward, bowing my body against his. His lips gave up on mine for a moment, but I knew he was nowhere close to finished. His mouth followed the line of my jaw, and then explored the length of my neck. He freed my hair, reaching for my other arm to draw it around his neck like the first. Then both of his arms were constricted around my waist, and his lips found my ear. â€Å"You can do better than this, Bella,† he whispered huskily. â€Å"You're overthinking it.† I shivered as I felt his teeth graze my earlobe. â€Å"That's right,† he murmured. â€Å"For once, just let yourself feel what you feel.† I shook my head mechanically until one of his hands wound back into my hair and stopped me. His voice turned acidic. â€Å"Are you sure you want me to come back? Or did you really want me to die?† Anger rocked through me like the whiplash after a heavy punch. That was too much – he wasn't fighting fair. My arms were already around his neck, so I grabbed two fistfuls of his hair – ignoring the stabbing pain in my right hand – and fought back, struggling to pull my face away from his. And Jacob misunderstood. He was too strong to recognize that my hands, trying to yank his hair out by the roots, meant to cause him pain. Instead of anger, he imagined passion. He thought I was finally responding to him. With a wild gasp, he brought his mouth back to mine, his fingers clutching frantically against the skin at my waist. The jolt of anger unbalanced my tenuous hold on self-control; his unexpected, ecstatic response overthrew it entirely. If there had been only triumph, I might have been able to resist him. But the utter defenselessness of his sudden joy cracked my determination, disabled it. My brain disconnected from my body, and I was kissing him back. Against all reason, my lips were movingwith his in strange, confusing ways they'd never moved before – because I didn't have to be careful with Jacob, and he certainly wasn't being careful with me. My fingers tightened in his hair, but I was pulling him closer now. He was everywhere. The piercing sunlight turned my eyelids red, and the color fit, matched the heat. The heat was everywhere. I couldn't see or hear or feel anything that wasn't Jacob. The tiny piece of my brain that retained sanity screamed questions at me. Why wasn't I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn't I find inmyself even the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that I didn't want him to stop? That my hands clung to his shoulders, and liked that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled me too tight against his body, and yet it was not tight enough for me? The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I'd been lying to myself. Jacob was right. He'd been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye – because I was in love with him. Too. I loved him, much more than I should, and yet, still nowhere near enough. I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt us both more. To hurt him worse than I ever had. I didn't care about more than that – than his pain. I more than deserved whatever pain this caused me. I hoped it was bad. I hoped I would really suffer. In this moment, it felt as though we were the same person. His pain had always been and would always be my pain – now his joy was my joy. I felt joy, too, and yet his happiness was somehow also pain. Almost tangible – it burned against my skin like acid, a slow torture. For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts, I could see exactly what I was going to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from losing. I could see Charlie and Rene mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them. And then, quite distinctly, I felt the splintering along the fissure line in my heart as the smaller part wrenched itself away from the whole. Jacob's lips were still before mine were. I opened my eyes and he was staring at me with wonder and elation. â€Å"I have to leave,† he whispered. â€Å"No.† He smiled, pleased by my response. â€Å"I won't be long,† he promised. â€Å"But one thing first . . .† He bent to kiss me again, and there was no reason to resist. What would be the point? This time was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief, and very, very sweet. His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear. â€Å"That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never.† Against his chest, where he couldn't see, the tears welled up and spilled over.

Conjugating the Verb Désobéir (to Disobey) in French

Conjugating the Verb Dà ©sobà ©ir (to Disobey) in French The verb  dà ©sobà ©ir  means to disobey in French. To transform it into the past tense disobeyed or the present tense disobeying, the verb needs to be conjugated. This is a relatively simple French lesson that will show you how to do that. Conjugating the French Verb  Dà ©sobà ©ir French students are often frustrated by verb conjugations because there are so many verb forms to remember. The nice thing about a verb like  dà ©sobà ©ir  is that its a  regular -IR verb. This means that it follows a common conjugation pattern. If you learn this one, verbs like  convertir  (to convert) and  chà ©rir  (to cherish) will be a little easier because the same rules apply. French verb conjugations take into account both the subject pronoun  and  the present, future, or past tense. As you study the chart, notice how the endings attached to the verb stem  dà ©sobà ©-  change. For instance, I disobey is je dà ©sobà ©is and we will disobey is nous dà ©sobà ©irons. Subject Present Future Imperfect je dà ©sobà ©is dà ©sobà ©irai dà ©sobà ©issais tu dà ©sobà ©is dà ©sobà ©iras dà ©sobà ©issais il dà ©sobà ©it dà ©sobà ©ira dà ©sobà ©issait nous dà ©sobà ©issons dà ©sobà ©irons dà ©sobà ©issions vous dà ©sobà ©issez dà ©sobà ©irez dà ©sobà ©issiez ils dà ©sobà ©issent dà ©sobà ©iront dà ©sobà ©issaient The Present Participle of  Dà ©sobà ©ir The  present participle  of dà ©sobà ©ir  is  dà ©sobà ©issant.  This is as simple as adding -ant  to the verb stem. Not only is this a verb, but it also acts as an adjective, gerund, or noun in some circumstances. Another Common Past Tense Form   A  common form of the past tense disobeyed in French is the  passà © composà ©. To form this, begin by conjugating the  auxiliary, or helping verb  avoir, then add the  past participle  dà ©sobà ©i. As an example, I disobeyed is jai dà ©sobà ©i and we disobeyed is nous avons dà ©sobà ©i. More Simple  Dà ©sobà ©ir  Conjugations The following verb forms of  dà ©sobà ©ir  are less common, though you may run into them as you speak and read more French. While you may never use them yourself, its a good idea to be able to recognize them as a form of to disobey. The subjunctive and conditional imply some level of uncertainty or dependency to the verbs action. The passà © simple and imperfect subjunctive are primarily found in French writing. Subject Subjunctive Conditional Passà © Simple Imperfect Subjunctive je dà ©sobà ©isse dà ©sobà ©irais dà ©sobà ©is dà ©sobà ©isse tu dà ©sobà ©isses dà ©sobà ©irais dà ©sobà ©is dà ©sobà ©isses il dà ©sobà ©isse dà ©sobà ©irais dà ©sobà ©it dà ©sobà ©Ãƒ ®t nous dà ©sobà ©issions dà ©sobà ©irions dà ©sobà ©Ãƒ ®mes dà ©sobà ©issions vous dà ©sobà ©issiez dà ©sobà ©iriez dà ©sobà ©Ãƒ ®tes dà ©sobà ©issiez ils dà ©sobà ©issent dà ©sobà ©iraient dà ©sobà ©irent dà ©sobà ©issent The imperative verb form is often used for short and direct commands and requests. This is a simplified conjugation as you can skip the subject pronoun. Rather than saying tu dà ©sobà ©is,  you can use dà ©sobà ©is alone. Imperative (tu) dà ©sobà ©is (nous) dà ©sobà ©issons (vous) dà ©sobà ©issez

Catcher In The Rye Essay Example for Free (#4)

Catcher In The Rye Essay A journey is more than a physical movement from one place to another. All journeys no matter how arduous entail setbacks and barriers that must be met. In doing so the traveller experiences a more significant inner journey of self growth. This is evident in the journey from adolescence to adulthood during which setbacks and barriers may entail a loss of innocence. J. D Salinger’s novel the Catcher in the rye explores this concept through various literary techniques. ( thesis) Loss of innocence as a major issue within the concept of a rites of passage is explored by J. D Salinger through the protagonist Holden Caulfield. His journey appears to be one self destructive act after another. This adult world into which Holden is forced into disturbs him profoundly. In his view, the adults who dwell this world, seem to be filled with phoniness, pretence and social compromise. He finds it almost intolerable to communicate with most adults and peers. This is prevalent throughout the book when he constantly brings up the question of what happens to the ducks in winter. The adults’ response to this recurring question is of contemn and expectation to know the answer, therefore never giving him an adequate explanation. This clearly demonstrates how his innocent mind conflicts with this phony adult world, and his response, is to rebel against this whole society. â€Å" quote† Holden expresses his rebellion through his inability to progress in life and his hatred of people. It is really only in children that he sees the true simplicity of honesty- and that is his escape from this adult phony world. Salinger portrays the transition from adolescence to adulthood as a quest for self identity and self discovery. For Holden however, his journey is a bombardment of obstacles in his search for connection with others, thus highlighting the angst of growing up. Holden finally breaks down with the constant disappointments and let downs he encounters. â€Å"quote ans technique† From his fight with Stradlater to Maurice’s exploitation of a prostitute, to Mr Antolini’s behaviour, Holden just cannot handle any more letdowns so his odyssey is one of loneliness and cynicism. An example of this is when Holden abruptly gives Sally an ultimatum to leave their current lives behind and build a future without the promise of stability. Sally’s refusal to this proposal results in Holden lashing out at her hence elucidating Holden’s naivety. And, just like a kid, he thinks that everyone is to blame except for him. The inability to meet setbacks and barriers and accept a loss of innocence within the jouney from adolescence to adulthood will inevitably lead to ones downfall. The deliberate irony is that Holden strives to act as a grown up but constantly acts like a child is seen in his provocation of his peers and his irrational thinking. â€Å"quote † The title of the book, â€Å"Catcher in the Rye,† is more than just a pretty ditty. It is Holden’s dream to be the catcher in the rye, thus save little children from falling off the cliff into adulthood. â€Å"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around–nobody big, I mean–except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff–I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going. I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be. † Holden is adamant on playing the adult role of protecting children and their innocence that gets lost in the adult phony world. He envisions protecting and shielding children from the evils of society, when he himself is one who is in a state of conflict between adolescence and adulthood. However, it is through the telling of his story that Holden eventually gains control of his disturbed past. His search for self identity and discovery can be seen as a search for tolerance, acceptance and understanding- something that he finally experiences in the final scene with Phoebe riding the carrousel. When he see’s Phoebe on the carrousel, he accepts that he is not a child anymore indicating that he is perhaps more accepting of change. Towards the end, Holden has found some wisdom when he claims to â€Å"sort of miss everyone. † There was some light for him at the end of the tunnel- and that light is hope and acceptance that he doesn’t live in such an evil world that he made out to be. Holden wants desperately to protect this idealistic life but perhaps he realises at the end that it is not possible and that maturity is a means of accepting what life throws at one. How he deals with obstacles along the way conveys Holden’s journey from adolescence into adulthood. Catcher In The Rye. (2016, Dec 15). We have essays on the following topics that may be of interest to you

Why do uae nationals don't use public transportation Research Paper

Why do uae nationals don't use public transportation - Research Paper Example In light of the recent calls to ban the use of private means of transport for people from lower economic classes in Abu Dhabi (Oueiti, 2014), it is clear that there are issues to be looked into surrounding the issue of transportation. This essay will look into some of the reasons as to why nationals of the UAE avoid public transportation and some of the proposed remedies for the situation. The main forms of transport in the countries of the UAE are buses and trams Olson, 2012). Different countries in the UAE are all facing similar issues with their public transport system. That is, most of the nationals prefer to use private transport for commuting. As a result, officials report that there is congestion on their roads (Ruiz, 2013). Policy makers have because of this been forced to take drastic measures to encourage more commuters to make of the public transport system. For example, in Dubai, parking fees imposed on drivers of private cars have been raised (Bouyamourn, 2014) to discourage drivers from taking their cars to work. Apart from this is the ban on private transport for poor nationals in Abu Dhabi, also meant to encourage citizens to use public transport. One of the reasons for the poor use of public transportation is the poor state of buses in the region. The main issue is the fact that the air-conditioned bus shelters are in dilapidated states. As such, many are completely out of order and closed down, while some have inadequate power (National Editorial, 2014). Given the fact that the UAE experiences hot summers, this presents a problem with commuters, who do not want to suffer from excessive heat. Commuters that use public transportation have cited this as the main disadvantage of the system. In addition to this, the minimum standards of buses desperately need to be raised; commuters complain of unhygienic conditions. These factors make it hard to attract new users to the public